oh how i weep not
for that which I have lost
but unto a course of mine choosing
a measure which drew deaths gaze
and unearthly kiss
i do stagger in the the baneful light
upon knowing what was can never again be
oh how i weep not
for that which i have lost
but for the beast i fear become
  

From your throat her name doeth flow
Through birth to death to birth you know
The streets she dump'd you wander wyld
Leaving dazed a kinder child
In search for truth but finding none
Come up empty look for one
Reason for living in a death tight grip
Flailing instead in a madness slip
In your ears our brood doeth scream
Bring blood boil and tears of steam
From birth to death to birth you know
A gutter rages behind you low
Your body died but lived again
With the gift you're damned to sin
Take the lead and give up the
Way of ways as given me
Find your own and give this gift
Though only worthy to have our lift
From birth to death to birth we find
The gift of darkness will blow their mind.

Running,
empty of hope, with my space,
too cluttered to contemplate the void,
yearning to be filled.
Satisfaction,
fulfillment capacity, a joy I can not share,
of loving myself beyond the simple material pleasures,
surrounded by meaningless icons of success.
Rage,
unbridled doubt, pumped fat with fear,
narrows a tunnel before my eyes growing wide,
spirals and spins me into dispair.
Pain,
in my heart, in my head,
thickly choaking my willingness to try,
reaching for, grasping at remaining breath.
Payment,
for mistakes made, not knowing me,
despite not knowing myself,
beyond the tyranny of my own mind cage.
Crying,
caring, burning yearning,
unable to stop the chittering chattering,
within the rattle box between my ears.
Fear,
overwhelming abuse, double-edged sword,
desperately feeding on the septic edge of sanity,
keeping in check Reaper's unscheduled hand.